I swear
Not really.
Well, OK, sometimes.
But not in front of the kids.
One of the house rules was no swearing. I wanted, still want, a civil home. We definitely were NOT the Waltons. But those kids sure policed their friends in this house. Mr B, on the other hand, was not policeable.
I know my kids cuss with the best of them now. Even caught one of them using the "F" word on a very funny YouTube video, horror or horrors. But they still keep it clean at home. And I appreciate it.
I had a friend in college whose parents gave her permission to swear all she wanted on one condition: The swear words had to be original. She came up with this: "Ah, sizzlebritches!" Kind of fizzles if you ask me. Just doesn't have the bite-your-bottom-lip-and-let-'er-rip blast that goes with "f."
As for me, most of the time "Shahzbat" does the trick. Kinda like this (19 seconds in):
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Image by O2b
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Shahzbat always did remind me of the German term for a word that seems to have much the same meaning.
We were in the parking lot at K-Mart and some bozo pulled in front of me. Not only did I let out an F*** You, but I flipped him the bird at the same time. My mother nearly fainted.
"Paaaatricia! What if I see him inside the store?", she asked in a horrified voice.
"Tell him he's a putz," I replied.
She still gets a little white knuckled when we're driving in a parking lot. But I feel fairly emancipated.